This is so a #firstworldproblem but…..

How many times a week to we hear ourselves uttering this phrase? It is both an acceptance that on paper, other people have worse problems than you, that you are grateful for all that you have, but also a statement that you are faced with an issue or dilemma that needs resolving; your emotional barometer is flashing and something needs to be done. Emotions are like that; they are urgent, they are real and they are now. It can be hard to make them take a back seat.

What happens if we switch the sentence around? For example, rather than saying ‘Ugh I know this is such a #firstworldproblem, but my train has been cancelled and now I am going to be late for my work event’, try saying ‘Ugh, my train has been cancelled and I am going to be late for my work event, I know this is such a #firstworldproblem’. This small change in the order of the words places an emphasis on the positive element of what you are thinking, and moves towards gratitude. I am reading a book at the moment called The Bandit Queens (great name!) by Parini Shroff, where the women in it lead very demanding lives, but a social trope in their society is to end each complaint or vent with ‘but I am so lucky to have X, it is such a blessing’. It is said in a tongue in cheek way in the book, but it made me think about the impact of ending a cognitive process on a positive note, not a negative one.

Why not take the sentence reversal one step further? Add some gratitude onto the end of it, and try ‘Ugh, my train has been cancelled and I am going to be late for my work event, I know this is such a #firstworldproblem, and truly, I am grateful to have a secure job and to have the domestic flexibility to attend networking events’. A recent Psychology Today article described gratitude as ‘finding sweetness in the bitterness’ and asserted that ‘happiness is not what happens when life goes our way’, rather happiness is a way of life; it is a dedication to seeing the positive things that are happening around us, and focusing on them, rather than the challenging things.

Here are a few ways you can encode gratitude into your daily life:

i.                    Have a gratitude companion that you email or text every day about what has gone right for you that day, or what you are grateful for. This holds you to account, and ends the day on a high.

ii.                   Write a gratitude journal. There are some brilliant ones out there including Dr Chaterjee’s 3 Question Journal, the 5 Minute Journal by Intelligent Change, and I also offer a free one focusing on re-discovering your values, so please get in touch if you want me to send that over.

iii.                 Challenge yourself to end a winge on a positive note for a week, and see what difference this makes to how you feel.

If you want a free copy of my values focused journal, get in touch. Have a wonderful week!