I am a recovering perfectionist.

Perfectionism is a badge worn with both pride and embarrassment. It is (undoubtedly for me) the reason that I have a successful career in law, as the need for external validation and my own unforgiving personal standards spurred me on. It is also the reason that every time the newsletter from the Solicitor’s Regulation Authority comes into my inbox that my heart skips a beat, and why, when I do something as tiny as miss a full stop in an email, I have been known to ruminate on it for hours. In law, perfection has come to be the only standard, and I am so grateful that bodies like The Law Society[1] and The Authentic Lawyer are starting to call this out. The brilliant Dr Chaterjee has also turned his fierce gaze to this issue.[2]

The drive for perfection is in opposition to the fact that lawyers are, after all, humans. Humans do our best, but we make errors. This is inevitable and natural. It is only by making mistakes that we can learn and grow.

So if you are of the perfectionist sort, what can be done about it?

1.      Forgive yourself. This is enormous. As soon as you accept that you have made a mistake, and then forgive yourself for doing it, tunnel vision ends and you can start to see the mistake for what it was, a mistake. You are human. It happens. You can then start to re-engage with the world, think flexibly and creatively, and see what the next steps may look like for you.

2.      Shift your thoughts to ‘what is working’ rather than ‘what does perfect look like’? By focusing on what is working, we can harness the positives and work creatively to solutions, rather than doggedly pursuing a ‘perfect’ outcome that may well not be achievable.

3.      Work collaboratively. I know! I have often found it hard to delegate as I have been afraid that others wont do things to my impossible standards. All that this results in is burn out, chronic stress, and distrust. However, by working collaboratively, the strengths of all team members are able to come together and create a solution that far exceeds what one person can conceive. Collaborative working also builds in coaching and training into the very model of day to day working. You will be amazed at the results, both professionally, and personally.

Recovering from perfectionism is not an on/off switch. It takes time, compassion, and support. However, recognising that is a huge step forward. Get in touch if you want to chat about this with someone that has really been there and got the t-shirt.

[1] https://www.lawgazette.co.uk/commentary-and-opinion/huge-fines-show-sra-is-misusing-its-powers/5118616.article

[2] https://drchatterjee.com/bitesize-how-the-modern-epidemic-of-perfectionism-is-impacting-our-health-will-storr/